A Change of Heart

Dear Jane Austen,

In the past, I have often rather egotistically declared that although I didn't dislike your books, they didn't really meet my standards of great literature. I claimed to tire while reading your books because they were long-winded without the seriousness that makes the ending worth the wait. Obsessing about manners an propriety, focusing too much the upper class, not pushing hard enough for societal reform: These are the things I accused you of.
After reading Pride and Prejudice for the third time (last time, I was 15), I realize how wrong I've been. Your books have a wit and wisdom, an insight into human nature and behavior, a certain perceptiveness that I believe is truly rare. Instead of advocating for change in legal or economic practices, your novels hope for a change in how we think of and treat others. Instead of transporting me to India or showing me the lives of the poor, your novels give me insight into my everyday experiences.
Please accept my sincerest apologies. My skepticism came from a lack of depth in my own lived experience, not a lack of depth in your writing. Thank you for the opportunity to see your world and my world in a new way through your novels. Reading Pride and Prejudice for the third time has been a pleasure.

Your newest fan,
Lauren Fine

For My Purpose Holds

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink

Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd

Greatly, have suffer'd greatly. . .

For always roaming with a hungry heart

Much have I seen and known; cities of men

And manners, climates, councils, governments,

Myself not least, 

In 2013. . . 

I gained a wonderful new sister

I made a feline friend

I climbed to the lookout of the angels

I saw Radioactive Underdogs on Top of the World

I saw miracles take place in young hearts (including my own)

I shared my testimony of Christ with millions through song

I finally caught the bouquet

I recognized some weaknesses

and was reminded that weak things become strong

I marveled at the beauty of the earth

I took the next step 

I partied...

and partied...

and partied...

(I'm the activities chair in several organizations—partying is my job)

I made many new friends

and was reunited with many old ones

I was lost

I was found

I cried for pain

I cried for joy

I taught

I learned

I laughed

I loved

I lived.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!

As tho' to breathe were life! . . .

This year...

I will not "pause or make an end"

I will graduate from college
I will run a half marathon

I will remember my God

I will conect with others on a deeper level

I will experience another way of life

I will start a graduate program (somewhere...)

I will do things I am afraid of

I will travel with my best friend

I will continue in hope and faith. . .

To follow knowledge like a sinking star

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought. . . .

for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die. . . .

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

(Ulysses by Tennyson)