Autumn

cooling fire
fading bright
trees burn
skies freeze

clouded sun
clearer stars
pale landscapes
rosy cheeks

Leaves loose their trees
find children's arms
wings flutter away south
but stay in lovers' hearts

New death
meets new life
nature falls asleep
my heart awakens




Welcome to the best season of the year, everyone. Let the scarf-wearing, pumpkin baking, cuddly star-gazing, canyon driving, and hot-chocolate drinking begin.

Strange Aversions

We all have something (or a list-full of somethings) that just irks us. I'm not talking about your uncle's tendency to tilt his head to the left when he talks to people (trust me, that drives everyone crazy) or your somewhat rational fear of pigs. No, I'm talking about that thing that makes you want to wrinkle your nose but not leave the room, scoot a few feet away but certainly not run. I'm talking about that thing that you have good reason to dislike, yet when you explain it to your friend, she will usually just laugh. Yes, you may be alone in your aversion to that object, but I am here to tell you that you are not alone in these feelings. Here are a couple of my strange aversions.

1. Ladybugs. I was 14-years-old, naive to the deception we so often find in this world. It was a warm spring day, and I was speed walking to get to algebra on time. Suddenly, I felt a pinch on my arm, like the prick of a needle. Instinctively, I swatted at my arm, looking down to see the source of the irritation.  I watched in shock as a red insect fell to the ground, then bent over to verify that I saw what I thought  I saw. The insect was in fact a ladybug. I know what you're thinking because I have heard the same thing every time I have told this story, "But ladybugs don't bite?" Seriously? You'll question my sanity before believing that maybe, sometimes, ladybugs bite? These foul creatures go around making everyone believe they are these cute, harmless creatures, and then one day, one bites me. Ladybugs are the con-artists of the insect world. And just so you know, I've done my research. Here's an article  about Asian ladybugs, a more agressive species of ladybug that is found throughout the United States. They bite.

Ok, so this story exaggerates how I feel about ladybugs a little bit. I don't HATE them. My feelings are closer to annoyance. It just kind of bugs me that I grew up thinking they would never bite me, and then one did. I just don't trust them. So when I see a ladybug, I don't avoid it, but I'm certainly not going to go pick it up. And there you have it. Lauren's very logical aversion number one.

2. Piñatas. My freshmen year of college, I went to a Heritage Halls activity labeled a "fiesta." We were promised nachos, churros, a piñata, and a good time, but they only came through on the piñata. When my roommate and I got there, the food was gone, and the guy I liked was Latin dancing with another girl (I couldn't even Latin dance--don't worry, that has since changed). We decided to stay for the piñata, hoping that a little candy would at least make the 50 feet we walked from our apartment worth the trip. The piñata was kind of lame--it was small and it kept falling off the string, but we still hoped to pick up a few sweets before we left. On the fifth or sixth person, the piñata fell off the string again, but this time was different. Everyone in the circle started shouting and chanting "stab it," "get it," and I had this flashback to the scene in Lord of the Flies when they hunt and kill the pig. Needless to say it was disturbing and I left immediately. I concluded that piñatas are creepy and cater to the savage parts of human nature. Never again.

So there you have it, my two weird aversions. I also have a couple things that I really like for no logical reason, but that is a story for another day. What irks you?

It's Such a Fine Life

It's not often that I have a day that is just SO good that I just have to write about it. Today was one of those days. My life isn't perfect--my love life is a bit lackluster; my GPA for this semester is currently worse then it's ever been (let's see if I can change that by the end of the semester); I don't know exactly where I'm living next year; I could stand to loose a few pounds and gain some muscle mass. But despite all of this, I am so happy. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve. Seriously guys, God loves me. He loves you, too. :)
Anyway, here are a few things that happened today that made today an exceptionally good day.

1. I bought the Adobe Creative Suite which includes InDesign, Illustrator, and PhotoShop. FOR $235! Actually it was less than that because my parents paid for part of it as my birthday present (FYI, full price is around $1000). If you haven't used any of these programs, you don't really understand why this is a big deal, but if you have, you know that a world of document design and photo-editing is at my fingertips. I feel so empowered. No longer do I have to cater to the hours of the Mac Lab in the JFSB. No longer will I create mediocre, center-aligned flyers. No longer must I use the limited photo-editing options iphoto provides. Everything I create from now on can be a masterpiece of design.

2. I found a plastic egg in the middle of the grass. I was walking by myself through the grass by the HFAC when I spotted it. Of course, being the dork that I am, I picked it up and exclaimed rather loudly, "I found an egg!" and then looked around for a response from the nobody I was with. The most I got was a weird look from a guy who was walking by a few yards away, but I was excited regardless. It had a sudoku puzzle, a piece of chocolate, and I cute note inside it. :)

3. Here's the kicker, guys. After this lovely egg incident and a few great conversations with good people, I was sitting outside in the sunshine (did I mention the weather was PERFECT today?) when I saw that I had a new message in my email inbox. It was from my professor, the director of the Humanities Center, and the subject read "Eliza R. Snow Fellowship." A couple weeks ago, I was one of about 20 students from the college of humanities that were nominated and interviewed for this prestigious position. After reading the subject line, I knew this email would either offer me the position (a slim chance) or tell me I hadn't been chosen. Though I hoped I would be chosen as one of two exceptional students from the whole college of humanities, I certainly wasn't expecting it (I mean what are the chances, seriously). By the subject of this post, I'm sure you can tell what's coming: I was offered the fellowship! Let me just explain what this entails:

• A full-tuition scholarship (on top of the full scholarship I already have)
• The chance to plan exciting events that explore interesting questions and bridge the gaps between disciplines
• The opportunity to work with some of the best scholars in my field (and other fields)
• A better chance of getting into the grad school of my dreams

Basically, this fellowship is going to open doors for me in my future, not to mention how fun it will be (I love planning events, and I love exploring new ways of thinking, and this fellowship gives me the opportunity to do both).

All in all, today was an exceptional day. May you all have many days like this in your lives. :)

And now for a couple songs that describe how I'm feeling.

Hope

For some reason, in recent months, I have thought and talked a lot about the concept of hope. Perhaps it was because I needed hope. Perhaps it was because my friends needed hope. Perhaps it was because I watched too many hours of Doctor Who which kind of centers around the theme of hope. Regardless it's been on my mind.

When you think about it, hope can sometimes be a rather illogical emotion. I mean, did Edison have any reason to believe that after failing to make a lightbulb hundreds of times, the next time would be a success? Yet I'm sure that each time he hoped his experiment would work. Did Fredrick Douglass have reason to hope he would escape slavery when he had surely seen many more people fail to do so than succeed? Yet hope he did and succeed he did. People hope to win the lottery. People hope to get a certain job. People hope the weather will change. People hope they will be healed from disease. Some of these examples may be based on the choices of the person (getting a certain job, for example) but some of them are entirely outside of our control.

So why do we continue to hope, even when all evidence would tell us it's useless? First of all, I think it is human nature to hope (which is why The Doctor loves humans so much, I think). President Uchtdorf says, "we learn to hope the same way we learn to walk--one step at a time." Just as we are naturally disposed to walk as children, we are naturally disposed to hope. Even when we have been miserable for weeks or months, we can't help thinking that there is a light at the end of the universe. We can't help believing that no trial can last forever; no problem cannot be fixed. This belief may be based partly on our experience (something going on forever is inconceivable to us), but more than that, I think we hope because we have to. And because even if our minds have forgotten, our spirits know that the confused and unhappy people we sometimes are on Earth is not who we are meant to be. We inherently know that there is a better world waiting for us. Every wrong will be made right. Every trial will end. Every pain will be replaced with joy because of He who is the source of all hope: our savior Jesus Christ.