Strange Aversions

We all have something (or a list-full of somethings) that just irks us. I'm not talking about your uncle's tendency to tilt his head to the left when he talks to people (trust me, that drives everyone crazy) or your somewhat rational fear of pigs. No, I'm talking about that thing that makes you want to wrinkle your nose but not leave the room, scoot a few feet away but certainly not run. I'm talking about that thing that you have good reason to dislike, yet when you explain it to your friend, she will usually just laugh. Yes, you may be alone in your aversion to that object, but I am here to tell you that you are not alone in these feelings. Here are a couple of my strange aversions.

1. Ladybugs. I was 14-years-old, naive to the deception we so often find in this world. It was a warm spring day, and I was speed walking to get to algebra on time. Suddenly, I felt a pinch on my arm, like the prick of a needle. Instinctively, I swatted at my arm, looking down to see the source of the irritation.  I watched in shock as a red insect fell to the ground, then bent over to verify that I saw what I thought  I saw. The insect was in fact a ladybug. I know what you're thinking because I have heard the same thing every time I have told this story, "But ladybugs don't bite?" Seriously? You'll question my sanity before believing that maybe, sometimes, ladybugs bite? These foul creatures go around making everyone believe they are these cute, harmless creatures, and then one day, one bites me. Ladybugs are the con-artists of the insect world. And just so you know, I've done my research. Here's an article  about Asian ladybugs, a more agressive species of ladybug that is found throughout the United States. They bite.

Ok, so this story exaggerates how I feel about ladybugs a little bit. I don't HATE them. My feelings are closer to annoyance. It just kind of bugs me that I grew up thinking they would never bite me, and then one did. I just don't trust them. So when I see a ladybug, I don't avoid it, but I'm certainly not going to go pick it up. And there you have it. Lauren's very logical aversion number one.

2. Piñatas. My freshmen year of college, I went to a Heritage Halls activity labeled a "fiesta." We were promised nachos, churros, a piñata, and a good time, but they only came through on the piñata. When my roommate and I got there, the food was gone, and the guy I liked was Latin dancing with another girl (I couldn't even Latin dance--don't worry, that has since changed). We decided to stay for the piñata, hoping that a little candy would at least make the 50 feet we walked from our apartment worth the trip. The piñata was kind of lame--it was small and it kept falling off the string, but we still hoped to pick up a few sweets before we left. On the fifth or sixth person, the piñata fell off the string again, but this time was different. Everyone in the circle started shouting and chanting "stab it," "get it," and I had this flashback to the scene in Lord of the Flies when they hunt and kill the pig. Needless to say it was disturbing and I left immediately. I concluded that piñatas are creepy and cater to the savage parts of human nature. Never again.

So there you have it, my two weird aversions. I also have a couple things that I really like for no logical reason, but that is a story for another day. What irks you?

It's Such a Fine Life

It's not often that I have a day that is just SO good that I just have to write about it. Today was one of those days. My life isn't perfect--my love life is a bit lackluster; my GPA for this semester is currently worse then it's ever been (let's see if I can change that by the end of the semester); I don't know exactly where I'm living next year; I could stand to loose a few pounds and gain some muscle mass. But despite all of this, I am so happy. I have been blessed beyond what I deserve. Seriously guys, God loves me. He loves you, too. :)
Anyway, here are a few things that happened today that made today an exceptionally good day.

1. I bought the Adobe Creative Suite which includes InDesign, Illustrator, and PhotoShop. FOR $235! Actually it was less than that because my parents paid for part of it as my birthday present (FYI, full price is around $1000). If you haven't used any of these programs, you don't really understand why this is a big deal, but if you have, you know that a world of document design and photo-editing is at my fingertips. I feel so empowered. No longer do I have to cater to the hours of the Mac Lab in the JFSB. No longer will I create mediocre, center-aligned flyers. No longer must I use the limited photo-editing options iphoto provides. Everything I create from now on can be a masterpiece of design.

2. I found a plastic egg in the middle of the grass. I was walking by myself through the grass by the HFAC when I spotted it. Of course, being the dork that I am, I picked it up and exclaimed rather loudly, "I found an egg!" and then looked around for a response from the nobody I was with. The most I got was a weird look from a guy who was walking by a few yards away, but I was excited regardless. It had a sudoku puzzle, a piece of chocolate, and I cute note inside it. :)

3. Here's the kicker, guys. After this lovely egg incident and a few great conversations with good people, I was sitting outside in the sunshine (did I mention the weather was PERFECT today?) when I saw that I had a new message in my email inbox. It was from my professor, the director of the Humanities Center, and the subject read "Eliza R. Snow Fellowship." A couple weeks ago, I was one of about 20 students from the college of humanities that were nominated and interviewed for this prestigious position. After reading the subject line, I knew this email would either offer me the position (a slim chance) or tell me I hadn't been chosen. Though I hoped I would be chosen as one of two exceptional students from the whole college of humanities, I certainly wasn't expecting it (I mean what are the chances, seriously). By the subject of this post, I'm sure you can tell what's coming: I was offered the fellowship! Let me just explain what this entails:

• A full-tuition scholarship (on top of the full scholarship I already have)
• The chance to plan exciting events that explore interesting questions and bridge the gaps between disciplines
• The opportunity to work with some of the best scholars in my field (and other fields)
• A better chance of getting into the grad school of my dreams

Basically, this fellowship is going to open doors for me in my future, not to mention how fun it will be (I love planning events, and I love exploring new ways of thinking, and this fellowship gives me the opportunity to do both).

All in all, today was an exceptional day. May you all have many days like this in your lives. :)

And now for a couple songs that describe how I'm feeling.

Hope

For some reason, in recent months, I have thought and talked a lot about the concept of hope. Perhaps it was because I needed hope. Perhaps it was because my friends needed hope. Perhaps it was because I watched too many hours of Doctor Who which kind of centers around the theme of hope. Regardless it's been on my mind.

When you think about it, hope can sometimes be a rather illogical emotion. I mean, did Edison have any reason to believe that after failing to make a lightbulb hundreds of times, the next time would be a success? Yet I'm sure that each time he hoped his experiment would work. Did Fredrick Douglass have reason to hope he would escape slavery when he had surely seen many more people fail to do so than succeed? Yet hope he did and succeed he did. People hope to win the lottery. People hope to get a certain job. People hope the weather will change. People hope they will be healed from disease. Some of these examples may be based on the choices of the person (getting a certain job, for example) but some of them are entirely outside of our control.

So why do we continue to hope, even when all evidence would tell us it's useless? First of all, I think it is human nature to hope (which is why The Doctor loves humans so much, I think). President Uchtdorf says, "we learn to hope the same way we learn to walk--one step at a time." Just as we are naturally disposed to walk as children, we are naturally disposed to hope. Even when we have been miserable for weeks or months, we can't help thinking that there is a light at the end of the universe. We can't help believing that no trial can last forever; no problem cannot be fixed. This belief may be based partly on our experience (something going on forever is inconceivable to us), but more than that, I think we hope because we have to. And because even if our minds have forgotten, our spirits know that the confused and unhappy people we sometimes are on Earth is not who we are meant to be. We inherently know that there is a better world waiting for us. Every wrong will be made right. Every trial will end. Every pain will be replaced with joy because of He who is the source of all hope: our savior Jesus Christ.

The Year Is Going, Let him Go

"Ring out the valiant man and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand;

Ring out the darkness of the land

Ring in the Christ that is to be."

(From In Memoriam by Tennyson - I highly recommend reading CVI, at least)

This Year…

I got to know myself more

I was reunited with all of my siblings (at once!)

I ran my first 10K (very slowly)

I climbed on a Neolithic stone circle 

I discovered my love of yoga

I got closer to the perfect balance

I fell in love with The Doctor

I taught a college class for the first time

I wrote poetry in poetry’s backyard

I discovered the influence one person can have

I was reminded how little we can do without One certain person

I celebrated Halloween in a scholarly gentleman fashion

I wrote a dozen letters

I read at least a dozen books

I conquered 11,749 feet

I experienced many worlds within one city

I decided what my future (probably) holds

I recognized the universal love of my Savior 

I succeeded

I failed

I taught

I learned

I sang

I loved

I lived.

Next Year…

I will spend more time outside myself

I will run another 10K

I will appreciate the little things

I will take the GRE and apply to grad school

I will take myself less seriously

I will improve my teaching skills

I will look for common ground

I will be a better friend

I will fail and I will succeed

I will seek, and as promised, I will find

“For my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset… to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.” (Tennyson, once again, this time from "Ulysses") 

Poetry?

Sometimes (very rarely) I write poetry. I have friends who write good poetry and share it with me, so I guess a small part of me has been inspired to step out of the realm of prose every now and then, if only to have something to share at our open mic poetry nights. My poetry kind of looks like prose where I hit enter a few extra times, but hey, I tried. Enjoy this sample. Maybe I'll share my other stuff at some later date.

Solitude

We’ve all been friends with him at some point

A good friend he has been to me of late.

He’s easy to be friends with

Easy because he knows us

Easy because he doesn’t expect us to be something

Easy because he doesn’t interfere with our dreams.

Yet, sooner or later, we all seem to get tired of him.

Rather cruel of us, really

When he’s been there in all of our dark times.

Is it his presence that makes them dark? You ask.

Some may think so

But I don’t.

He has been there in many of my happy times, too.

Yet he does not make us happy.

Comfortable? Perhaps.

Better? Usually.

Happy? No.

But I think we need him.

For in learning to live with him,

We learn to live with ourselves.

And only in learning to appreciate him

Can we ever leave him behind.

Ironic, isn’t it?

Oh, this has gotta be the good life

London was absolutely everything I could have asked for. I miss it already, but I know that beauty and magic are not bound to London alone. For the next two months, I'm going to see what Utah has to offer. :)
Here's a quick summary of some of the coolest things I did in my last week and a half in London.

1. Hyde Park Jubilee Concert

It was really cool to be in England during the queen’s diamond jubilee (celebrating 60 years as queen). The British are not generally an overtly patriotic people, but during the jubilee, we got to see them celebrating what it means to be British. For the concert, we went to Hyde part to watch it with thousands of Londoners on big screens, so it felt like we were there. The hosts were full of British humor and the other viewers actually sang and danced. At the end, the Prince of Wales lead us in three cheers for the queen (hip hip hooray!), and we American students joined right in without a second thought. Like any concert, it was an incredibly unifying experience – I felt like for a couple hours, all those people and I were on the same brainwave. I shared their national pride and understood their perspective on life.  Plus , the last three performers were Elton John, Stevie Wonder, and Paul McCartney – simply amazing.

2. Prince of Pagodas by the Royal Ballet

I’ve never seen such beautiful dancing – every tiny movement was a work of art. And the theater was magnificent! I grew up hearing about the royal ballet from my ballet teacher and watching videos of them in class, but I never thought I would see it! It was the most beautiful, enchanting experience. This may have been my favorite show I saw in London.

3. Holst's Planets Exhibit at the Science Museum
The exhibit is a series of rooms in which they have the video and sound of one instrument in the symphony (played by the world-class London philharmonic). They also have the music for that part on a stand in the room so people can come play along with the philharmonic. There was even someone playing along in the violin room. At the end, they have conducting booths with a video of the orchestra all around you and a little diagram you follow to conduct (it senses where your hands are and tells you if you’re in time). The last room combined all the instruments projected onto the ceiling so you laid in the center and watched the orchestra, almost like you were star-gazing. The whole thing was magical and it brought back so many good memories of first hearing "Jupiter" played by the BYU philharmonic at the Instrumental showcase, then singing in the women’s chorus for Neptune. Such a cool experience. 

And now, it’s time for the story of my final glorious day in London. After a rather exhausting over-three-hour final, some of us headed off to the Warner Brothers Harry Potter set tour. That’s right, I saw the cupboard under the staircase, the Weasleys' car, Hagrid’s motorcycle, Dumbledoore’s office, the potions classroom, Hagrid’s hut, the great hall, Diagon Alley, the huge model they used as the castle, Private Drive, the bridge to Hogwarts, the Gryffindor common room, and hundreds of costumes and props including a mechanical Buckbeak. Oh yeah, and all their wands. Gah, it was the most magical experience of my life. I had butterbeer! I felt like Harry on his first time at Diagon Alley. I’m pretty sure I’m a wizard… well witch. J Seriously though, everything had so much detail – it really made me appreciate the art of movie making so much more. As their motto goes, it helped make the magic real and the real world more magical. Oh, and I bought a very overpriced chocolate frog.

After Harry Potter, we headed to the Globe to see Henry V in true Shakespearean style – standing on the stone floor. It was a little tiring, but the atmosphere was awesome - the actors ran through the crowd and talked directly to the audience. Perhaps we weren't as rowdy or as smelly as Shakespeare's audience would have been, but we experienced Shakespeare how he intended it to be experienced (except the fact that the female roles were actually played by females).

After the show, we walked along the bank of the Thames to Parliament to see it lit up at night. The night was cool an calm; Parliament, the London Eye, and St. Paul's stood out amidst a variety of ancient and modern buildings; it was absolutely beautiful. Best final day in London possible? I think so. 

Theater Marathon

Guess how many shows I went to this week. Five. Yep, I went to a show a day for the past week and I would have gone to Singin' in the Rain tonight if it hadn't been sold out. London. is. awesome. Let's rank them, shall we.

Coolest Venue
1. Madame Butterfly - the London Coliseum. This was by far the most gorgeous concert hall I've been in, decorated in the classical style with columns, carved marble, high painted ceiling. Unbelievable.
2. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - this was in a giant tent in the middle of Kensington Gardens. It was  a 360 degree theater with some crazy stuff happening with the set (everything basically emerged from the ground...). We walked in past Kensington palace and walked home along embassy road.
3. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde -It was in a tiny theater south of the Thames underneath a railroad track. the room was dark and misty and the actors were never more than about 10 feet away from you.
4. Antigone - National theater.
5. The Woman in Black

Most Talented Actors
1. Madame Butterfly - beautiful opera full of beautiful voices
2. The Woman in Black - I was completely enthralled the entire time. I felt the fear of the young man and the pain of the older one (there were only two actors). The whole thing was essentially a play within a play but that didn't stop it from feeling entirely real.
3. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - there was some real talent in this little-known production. The woman who played Lucy had a voice far too big for the tiny room and the man who played Jekyll/Hyde could switch from Jekyll to Hyde flawlessly, always making it clear which person he was yet constantly reminding us they were the same person.
4. Antigone - I feel bad putting this one fourth because the star was none other than my first doctor - Christopher Eggleston. He did a great job, but there were moments throughout the play when I was pulled out of the story because the characters' emotions didn't seem entirely real.
5. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe - The acting wasn't noticeably good or bad, but the setting, costuming, and choreography were all so enchanting that  fantastic acting wasn't necessary.

Most Powerful Emotional Impact
1. The Woman in Black - I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. I don't really like scary movies, but I love scary stories and plays because they leave so much of it up to your imagination, and my imagination isn't gory or demonic like movies can be. Because the play was written to be low budget, they leave most of the scary stuff up to your imagination, so I experienced the adrenaline rush of fear without nasty images in my head. Thrilling.
2. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - I left excited about life, spiritually uplifted, and feeling like a kid again.
3. Antigone
4. Madame Butterfly - I think I was just too tired to get emotionally invested in the story, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the beauty of the music. :)
5. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - I didn't enjoy this musical. The main emotion it evoked was anger because I thought the over-emphasized the gore and sexuality (which isn't in the book) and under-emphasized the book's deep theme of the internal struggle between good and evil. The venue was cool and some of the acting was impressive, but otherwise I didn't enjoy the experience.