I remember when I learned that in order to get tenure, English professors usually need to be in the process of publishing a book by their third or fourth year of teaching (when they are being considered for tenure). At the time, the idea of publishing an entire book of scholarly writing seemed like I pretty daunting task for me.
Now that I've written my honors thesis and have several ideas for articles I could write on related topics, writing a scholarly book seems like a perfectly reasonable goal. And as my favorite professor once said about his own writing, ones and ones of people across the country might read it—who wouldn't want to spend their life on that? ;) One chapter down, 5 or 6 more (plus an intro and conclusion) to go.
Academia, here I come.
In case you can't tell, this is a picture of 41 pages of my own writing, 6 pages of sources, at least a couple hundred hours of work, and a whole lot of satisfaction.
I'll admit that until about a year ago, I thought distance runners were crazy. Why would someone spend so much time and effort, sacrificing their feet, knees, ankles, hips, you name it?
Basically, I felt like running more than a few miles at a time was more hurtful than helpful. But then my parents started running marathons. Suddenly, running gels, heart rate monitors, tendonitis, and hydrating on 3 hour weekend runs were common discussion topics. And somehow, I caught the bug. I still think running 26 miles is kind of crazy, but 13 seemed like a reasonable distance (which I realize is still pretty crazy).
So I made a goal to run a half marathon this year, and yesterday, I did it!
As I've trained, I've fallen in love with running. It can be painful (I'm basically always nursing some injury). It can be boring. It can be time consuming. And I absolutely love it. Here's why.
1. Running makes me feel beautiful.
I am grateful that I've never really struggled with major self esteem issues.
Even when it comes to looks, I've always been fairly content with myself. So I was definitely surprised by how much more confident I am in my appearance when I'm running regularly. I don't actually look very different (I've lost a few pounds but it's not all that noticeable), and I'm positive I don't look particularly graceful while I'm running. But knowing that I'm in good physical condition just makes me feel better about my body, even if my appearance is exactly the same to anyone else.
2. Running is respite from the rest of life.
Like most people (or at least most women), I usually have a dozen or so topics going through my mind during any given minute.
I often have the rather paradoxical issue of having too many things to worry about but not enough time to give them the amount of thought they need to be resolved. Running helps in two ways: (1) it gives me a chunk of time to think through something when I can't feasibly be doing anything else, and (2) it gives me the chance to just tune everything out and focus on my podcast and my running. Whether I need some time to think or I need some time to not think, running gives me the break I need.
3. Running improves my health.
Of course this one wasn't exactly unexpected. Health is the reason most people run in the first place, but it's still nice to see noticeable results. When I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, my resting heart rate was 55, at least 10 beats per minute lower than six months ago. That's like the heart rate of an athlete. I've never been an athlete before! Way to be more efficient, heart!
4. Running makes me part of an amazing group.
Anyone who runs regularly knows that runners are some of the friendliest people in the community. Especially if you run early in the morning in popular areas (such as in a park or on a river trail), almost every other runner you pass will look at you, smile, and maybe even say good morning. There is a spirit of mutual support and camaraderie among runners that I think is pretty rare (because let's face it, getting up early and pushing your body to its limits is hard, and we can't resist cheering on anyone who manages to do it).
5. Running gives me something to accomplish.
I always have a pretty long list of things I'm trying to do or be. While I believe I'm making progress on many of them, not many of my goals are as easily tracked and measured as my running goals. I think I'm praying more sincerely than I did 6 months ago, but I KNOW I can run further than I could six months ago. The sense of accomplishment that comes with running is huge, and it's nice to know I'm always improving.
6. Running gives me confidence.
After a long run, this is about how I feel.
Yes, I often feel like some part of my body is about to give out, but I also feel really powerful. As I was running through the canyon yesterday, I remember looking around and thinking "This is incredible. If I can do this, I can do anything!" That boy I'm interested in, I'm totally going to ask him out. That class I'm teaching come fall, I'm totally going to rock it. That paper I want to publish, a little revision and I'm sending it to the journals. For me, "runner's high" basically equates to all my fears melting away. There's nothing quite like it.
Traveling is very important to me. I believe there are things we learn from traveling that we can't learn any other way. Travel opens my eyes to the beautiful diversity of this Earth. It helps me understand other people and myself on a deeper level. It reminds me of what really matters in life. It brings me closer to God by bringing me closer to his children and creations. It teaches me compassion. It makes me more humble and more grateful. In short, travel makes me a better person.
As you might expect, my travels to other countries (mainly Kenya this summer and England two summers ago) have made me appreciate my home country in a new way, but maybe not in the way you would expect. Sure, every time I step under a hot shower or wash my clothes in a washer and dryer, I appreciate it a little more that I used to, but honestly, those weren't the things I missed most while I was in Kenya. I could live without those things, but the following is a list of American blessings that would be a bit harder to give up.
1. I am grateful to live in a country where I can trust the police. True, America isn't totally without corruption, but it is significant that when we hear about a politician or a police officer taking bribes, it is big news rather than something you would expect from public officials. We are lucky to have a police force (and a government and a military) that do their jobs honorably.
2. I am grateful to live in a country where being a practicing religious person isn't totally incongruous with being a well-educated white person. Yes, there are people like me all over Europe, but it is such a small percentage that telling someone you go to church for three hours every Sunday will certainly get an eyebrow raise from most people. The United States is by far the most religious developed country in the world, and though clashing religious beliefs can sometimes cause problems, overall I am grateful for that.
3. I am grateful to live in a country where I can get easily accessible, reasonably priced fresh fruits and vegetables. OK, so this one is a bit more shallow and not necessarily unique to America, but after living off of cheap, processed carbs and greasy meat for three weeks in Kenya (and noticing the contrast in how I felt), I am really grateful for American grocery stores.
4. (the might be the biggest one) I am grateful to live in a country where, as a woman, I have the rights and the resources to decide my own fate. Sure sexism still exists in the US, but nobody thinks I belong to my father or my husband. No one can purchase me with cows (yes, we did get a couple of offers). Not only do I get to choose whom I marry and when I marry, but I get to choose a lot of other things about my life, too. I am unbelievably grateful for this.
5. I am grateful to live in a country where I can get a good college education at a reasonable price. OK, so tuition costs has definitely gotten out of hand across the country as a whole, but that doesn't change the fact that American universities (especially the top ones) are considered among the best in the world. The accessibility of secondary education is a great blessing we have.
6. I am grateful to live in a country where people are loud and outspoken and we're fine with it. If you ever go to another country (especially England), you will realize just how loud you and your friends are. Americans make a lot of noise, and most of the time I love that. I love not feeling like I have to lower my voice or suppress my laughter or be proper all the time. 'Merica!
7. I am grateful to live in a country full of dreamers. The United States might not be the greatest exporter of textiles, but we are the greatest exporter of something much better: ideas. Everywhere you go, you will see American-invented products, American-produced movies and music, and American-expressed ideas. Maybe "The American Dream" doesn't happen for everyone, but it's beautiful that it's called the American dream because that is so indicative of who we are: innovative and full of hope.
8. Finally, I am grateful to live where my family and friends are. Yes, if I grew up somewhere else, my closest family and friends would be somewhere else, too. But they're not. They're in America, and since those relationships are what matter most, I am grateful to be where they are.
Not many people know this about me, but I am an excellent sandwich maker (let the sexist jokes begin). What my sister, Diane, is to sugar cookies, I am to sandwiches. Yeah, I'm that good.
So I though I'd do the Internet a favor and tell you about the sandwich I made the other day that was literally the best sandwich I've ever had (honestly. I said that to my roommate at least 3 times while I was eating it). Especially if you aren't a big fan of lunch meat but still want a sandwich with a decent amount of protein, this sandwich will blow your mind.
Here's everything in the sandwich in order.
multigrain bread
hummus
feta cheese (make sure you put this next to the hummus so it will stick and stay in the sandwich)
tomatoes
salt and pepper
balsamic vinaigrette
sweet mini bell peppers
spinach
avocado
multigrain bread
It is the perfect combination of flavors and textures, and it's pretty darn healthy, too. You could even leave out the cheese for a slightly healthier and/or vegan option, but the feta does add a lot of flavor.
In the past, I have often rather egotistically declared that although I didn't dislike your books, they didn't really meet my standards of great literature. I claimed to tire while reading your books because they were long-winded without the seriousness that makes the ending worth the wait. Obsessing about manners an propriety, focusing too much the upper class, not pushing hard enough for societal reform: These are the things I accused you of.
After reading Pride and Prejudice for the third time (last time, I was 15), I realize how wrong I've been. Your books have a wit and wisdom, an insight into human nature and behavior, a certain perceptiveness that I believe is truly rare. Instead of advocating for change in legal or economic practices, your novels hope for a change in how we think of and treat others. Instead of transporting me to India or showing me the lives of the poor, your novels give me insight into my everyday experiences.
Please accept my sincerest apologies. My skepticism came from a lack of depth in my own lived experience, not a lack of depth in your writing. Thank you for the opportunity to see your world and my world in a new way through your novels. Reading Pride and Prejudice for the third time has been a pleasure.
cooling fire
fading bright
trees burn
skies freeze
clouded sun
clearer stars
pale landscapes
rosy cheeks
Leaves loose their trees
find children's arms
wings flutter away south
but stay in lovers' hearts
New death
meets new life
nature falls asleep
my heart awakens
Welcome to the best season of the year, everyone. Let the scarf-wearing, pumpkin baking, cuddly star-gazing, canyon driving, and hot-chocolate drinking begin.
I love school so much I want to go to school for the rest of my life. My interests include writing, music, and travel, mostly because of their ability to help me see into the worlds of other people. I live a fine life. :)
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